"Suspects Gave Victim a 'Wedgie,' Pulled Up Her Underwear"

The Frat Boy News daily campus police report for Friday:

California State University, Chico (compiled by the Orion Online)
Feb. 10 - 3:45 p.m.: Sex fondle/battery reported to police. "Suspects gave victim a 'wedgie,' pulled up her underwear."

Feb. 9 - 10:51 a.m.: Mentally ill person reported to police. "Friend of reporting party's son has called eight times in the past half hour to say he is going to kill himself."

Feb. 9 - 11:27 a.m.: Littering/urinating in public reported to police. "Three to four occupants threw out two plates of food into the street."

Feb. 10 - 2:24 a.m.: Petty theft reported to police. "Artificial tree taken from the back porch. Gasoline dumped all over from a scooter parked on the porch."

Feb. 10 - 10:44 a.m.: Vandalism reported to police. "Soap dumped into fish fountain in front of council chambers."

Feb. 10 - 6:17 p.m.: Petty theft reported to police. "The clerk has been having a problem with a customer stealing beer every night this week."

Loyola College (compiled by the Greyhound)
Feb. 7 - 8:30 a.m.: A student informed police that he had a verbal altercation with three Loyola bookstore employees. The student said he was standing in a parking spot holding it for a fellow student. At this time a car, containing three bookstore employees, attempted to pull into the spot. The student informed them that the spot was being reserved, to which the employees laughed and stated that you can't hold spots. The driver then backed into the space without touching the student. After further discussion the employee let the student have the spot, and the officers left without incident.