The Sweet Smell of Piss in the Morning

Delt House Ready for Occupancy

Delts at the Stevens Institute of Technology finally can move back home. Brother began moving into the newly renovated house last week.

"I've never seen anything this bad," said Del Tufu, supervisor of the construction project on the final day of renovation. "The first day I came here it was raining more inside the building then outside. The floors were decayed, the basement had demolition debris, mildew, rats and possums."

The much needed renovations to the old house aren't receiving as much of a welcome from current brothers as you might expect.

"We worked hard to tear this place down," an anonymous brother said, "It's too much like a dorm."

"I don't see how all this linoleum is going to stand up to beer and punch," said Ryan Sullivan, a recent alumni of the chapter.

The basement of the new house still remains unfinished. Brothers were reportedly happy to once again absorb the comforting smells of urine still in the air.