Why Your Girlfriend Fakes Orgasms

The Frat Boy News Daily College Column
By Elizabeth Stortoen, the University of Colorado's Campus Press

It's that feeling, rush and explosion that engulfs your body. Your heart beats faster, your hormones start to race, you can't breathe, your mind goes blank, your toes curl up and you can't stop screaming: "YES! YES! YES!"

Does this sound familiar? To some, this would be called an orgasm. It's that moment during intercourse when you reach your ultimate climax, and you can't contain yourself anymore. But to others, this is simply how to fake an orgasm.

So why do women fake it?

Why do they moan and groan so their partner can feel accomplished and raise his hands above his head and say, "Yes! I did it!"?

Typically, women fake orgasms so their partner won't feel let down. They are trying to protect their partner's feelings and not send the message that they are not physically attracted to them. Women don't want men to think they don't appreciate them.

"I think it is common (to fake orgasms) for women. They are influenced by the media and porn culture of what they think they should be doing, feeling and sounding like," said Sarah Perzow, a sophomore psychology major.

Perzow said it is sad how common faking orgasms has become. She believes there is nowhere for women to learn how to have sex right, and until then, faking orgasms will keep happening.

Nowadays, sex has become this object, and its main purpose is to get one another off. The meaning of sex has changed; it has become a competition. The lines have been blurred between sensual arousal, intimate feelings and orgasms.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news for men, but it takes a lot more to please a woman than it takes to please you. So be patient, take your time and get to know her body.

A woman's body is sexually aroused differently than a man's. According to WebMD, "Many women find it hard to reach orgasm during intercourse without some kind of simultaneous clitoral stimulation."

If this is the case, the lines of communication need to be open. Each partner needs to be able to talk about what satisfies him or her, what is the right spot to touch and how to do it, because a healthy sexual relationship cannot be built on lies and fear.

In the 2000 Orgasm Survey, 72 percent of women reported having faked it at least once in their current or most recent relationship. While on the other side, 55 percent of men say they can tell when their partner is faking it.

If this sounds all too familiar to any of you, remember each person is different and each sexual experience is different. What might have worked in the past might be the exact opposite of what you need to do in the future.

"Having sex in college is different than later on in life," said Chen Wang, a senior biochemistry major. "There is always so much hype about what you did over the weekend or who you did. The pressure is there on both sides. I think women faking orgasms has become part of life. Everyone knows they do. It is just the whole determining when they are doing it."

According to Hugo Mialon, a graduate student from the University of Texas who did his dissertation research on the study of orgasms through constitutional law, "It is more common for women who are very young or very old to fake an orgasm."

Mialon found in his research that women do not reach their sexual peak until around age 30. This means more focus must be put forward in these earlier years to truly understand the female body and what makes her hot.

Most of the fun about sex is talking about it. So be open to this discussion. Talk about your fantasies with one another, try to wear something extra sexy, use toys or oils if need be and, most importantly, find your special spot that makes your body go numb.

Sex is not just something that men do to women; women need to learn to take more control. You need to be able to tell your partner what makes you go, "Oh!" You are only hurting yourself by not helping your partner find your special spot because once that spot is found, you may begin to wonder how you ever survived by just faking it.

Contact Campus Press Staff Writer Elizabeth Stortroen at Elizabeth.Stortroen@thecampuspress.com