Saturday, March 10, 2007

Wisconsin "Whiskey Dick"

The Frat Boy News Daily College Column
By Jenny Kalaidis, Sex Columnist, The University of Wisconsin's Badger Herald

Dear Jenny,
I met this girl at a party, and we ended up hooking up. However, I was really drunk and “couldn’t get it up.” We ended up meeting a few other nights — always while being drunk — and tried again, but I still couldn’t get hard enough. Is there anything I can do? I’ve had drunk sex before and haven’t had this much of a problem, and I know a lot of people can still have sex even though they’re drunk.

Dear Can’t Get It Up,
First of all, you’re not alone. Many guys have a similar problem — it’s called “whiskey dick,” which, defined by Urban Dictionary, is “when you’ve had too much to drink and have a girl back home and can’t get it up to perform the deed.” My best advice to you is both very complicated, yet very simple at the same time: Don’t get so wasted.

Partying around campus is basically a synonym for binge drinking. According to my psychology class, binge drinking is defined as five or more drinks for males and four or more drinks for females. I’ll be the first to acknowledge that these statistics may sadly sound low to many people — it is not at all uncommon for people to have an excess of 10 drinks throughout a night.

So, I’m assuming in your case, you are probably exceeding the five-drink recommendation, which was the culprit of your sexual deficiencies. Right up to the act, you may feel fine. You’re most likely horny and ready to go, but the frustration sets in when your body won’t oblige to what you want it to do. You’ve been cursed with a case of whiskey dick.

Now, I don’t know the exact specifics of your situation, but I assume the girl was in a similar non-sober state of mind, which is most likely why she’s given you numerous chances to redeem yourself.

However, a girl can only be so patient. If you plan on seeing this girl again — and pleasing her at the same time — lay off the bottle a bit. Let’s say you try to stay under the magic five number, and see what happens. If you still can’t get it up, maybe there are some other issues. Maybe you’re not into having random sex? Perhaps you have other worries (i.e. school, work, etc.) on your mind? Or, by chance, this particular girl doesn’t appeal to you enough.

All of those could be possibilities; however, my professional diagnosis is that you had a moderate to severe case of whiskey dick, which can be treated very easily and painlessly by not getting so drunk.

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